My thoughts on Fifty Shades of Grey by EL James

When I read the first few sentences of this book, I thought this was kind of juvenile. Like one of those Sweet Dreams books I read when I was in high school. The awkward girl meets the handsome rich guy while the other boys are falling all over her because she doesn’t realize how beautiful she really is. Hmm…okay, it was based on a fanfiction of Twilight. Hence, we have Anastasia as a fetching klutz and Christian Grey as a smoldering man with a dark secret.

I was having second thoughts featuring this book because well, many parts go against things I personally believe in. Like treating women like objects and making them play a submissive part in a mockery of a role play.

So finding out that this book is on top of the bestsellers list had been dumbfounding for me. Do women really like this? Or was it read only out of curiosity like me? But then all three books are selling like pancakes not only the first one. So many people must have liked it. And that's okay, to each his own. I haven't read any Harry Potter book but have read the Twilight and Hunger Games series so I guess each of us have their thing.

However, parts of this book had been a little disturbing for me. The erotica had been quite graphic and detailed. And it wasn’t just in some parts, but on many parts. Honestly, they should have an R rating for this if you ask me. It should be contained on a certain part of a bookstore because it's like reading a woman’s fantasy of bondage littered with those intimate stuff you do behind closed doors where children aren’t allowed to see. Imagine a twelve year old reading this.

Okay, I read it because it was controversial and because it's almost taboo for some. I wanted know what the fuss is all about. Fine, the detailed telling of the trysts I can live with but not the contract. His vile contract  designating her to play the submissive and him being the dominant with specific instructions on what she should do for him and what she should accept like those bordering on physical violence like caning, that’s a lot to take. And to think she still has to think it over. Hello, woman have a little self-respect. If I were her, I’d kick him in the groin, hit the contract hard on his face and walk away while muttering a**hole on the side.

Reading those parts felt like hearing chalk being scraped on a dull blackboard or nails being ripped on a smooth surface, ugh. It was that bad for me. I like strong female characters and this goes against what I like reading. Yes, I was tempted to throw it away and never look at it ever again but I wanted to know how it ends, how pathetic is that.

And read on I did. There were some parts I liked so it's not all that bad, the touchy feely, romantic parts. Like how Christian can get so protective of her, his bouts of jealousy and their entertaining emails to each other. It’s like this guy isn’t that numskull who quivers into a frenzy when she bites her lower lip. There were also moving moments when she asks herself if he really loves her and her seeming conviction to sacrifice herself for this love. Those parts I get because one can really be irrational when someone's in love, circumventing reasons to understand a paramour's baffling behavior even if it borders on sicko already. Those were some heartfelt moments I welcomed.

Lastly, the ending was surprising but pleasantly so. After a slight “beating” of the belt, lo and behold, she comes to her senses. She decides to leave him. It was supposed to be a triumph on my mind but then I felt bad for them. Reading the heartbreaking parts like her returning all the stuff he gave her because “I don’t want anything to remind me of you” tugged at me. Aw, that hurts. But then again if ever he pulls himself together, maybe go to therapy or something maybe they’ll have a chance. Maybe. So whether I’ll be reading the next parts of the trilogy, I’m not so sure. Maybe I’ll have to go to therapy first because this one just blew my mind, whew!