Martes, Agosto 14, 2012

Messenger The Legacy of Mattie J.T. Stepanek and Heartsongs by Jeni Stepanek with Larry Lindner: A message of Peace and Hope



If you can, don’t read this book in public because it may be hard to explain the tears that may unconsciously slide down your cheeks. I read the first chapter inside a restaurant and I have to stop before get into the “ugly” cry as Oprah have said.

Reading the first few sentences about a mother preparing her youngest child’s burial, the toys he wanted put inside his casket and mentioning that she also buried her first three children because of the same illness can leave you reeling. I did. Oh dear, I thought, where are my d** tissues?! Maya Angelou’s foreword also made it difficult to keep back the brimming moisture in my eyes. So I put it down first so I wouldn’t look like I just broke up with someone.

I almost forgot about the book because I left it inside a shopping bag with the other stuff I bought that day. Then just as I was looking for one book I wanted to write about a blog post, I found it again and read it. Then I braced myself for more waterworks.


I knew how it was going to end, I knew it wouldn’t be happy sunshine, balloons and merrymaking and that made me read each chapter, each sentence, each word with intense and sad anticipation. This was a child who had the odds against him. Especially the odds of making it to his teens which was thought to be almost impossible medically. But he reached thirteen almost going on fourteen. All throughout the book, he had numerous close calls but came back until the time he really had to leave.


I saw Mattie Stepanek and his Heartsongs book in Oprah years ago. I cannot forget him because had this impish smile and an uncharacteristic wisdom when he speaks. I didn’t know that his condition was critical. He looked so happy, innocent and playful like a regular kid. And reading about the hardships he had gone through, the neverending hospital check-ups, the trach tubes, the church handouts, the death of his siblings, it was almost impossible to believe that he was not bitter about life and even encouraged others to play after every storm.


Mattie was a vessel that poured himself, fully and unselfishly to others despite his sickness. He valiantly gave himself while battling his own pain and that’s what made his message special. He was an unlikely source. Facing his own mortality at a young age, Mattie still found the beauty of life even with a glimpse of a sunrise. For me, he truly was a messenger.


“I don’t think they understand what it’s like to live your life so fast…my life here won’t last….I get scared about the pain of dying and about what I will miss because I love living so, so, so much….I want to leave so many gifts for people to have when I’m not here anymore.…I want people to remember me someday and say, Oh, yes! Mattie! He was a poet, a peacemaker, and a philosopher who played.”


Honestly, I have never read a book that made me sob from start to finish. I finished it in two sittings, the last one I read until 3 am with my eyes sore from crying. I was surprised at myself because I thought I was a little jaded already. But there I was sitting on the floor in the wee hours of the morning sniffling away. Was it because it was a story of a mother like me telling the journey of his son in this life or was it because Mattie’s message of peace and hope radiated with so much light, it made it hard for me not to sit back, listen and take heart? Maybe both.


Looking back, there were so many parts on this book that stirred me and I found quite memorable. So I hope you can read it in its entirety to appreciate it more. Mattie's poetry was beautiful and his many achievements in his short life were astounding and inspiring. Here are more excerpts from the book:

“Regardless of how you pray, he said, regardless of the name you choose or are raised with to call the “supreme being”, what matters most is using prayerfulness to become a good person, a better person…"

“…he explained, just because someone’s religion might be a different kind of Christianity or did not embrace Jesus as the Savior, in no way did he think that it meant he or she was loved any less by God. Being a good person, he said was what mattered the most.”

“…he was passionate about turning people toward something greater than themselves. To be your best self, he said, you had to recognize consciously that you were part of something that went beyond you. You could not be your best self in isolation because achieving that goal required reaching out to, encouraging and supporting your neighbor to be his best self.”

I love this part.

“It was to Mattie’s mind, a collaboration that required learning about one’s neighbor-his preferences, strengths and needs-and then working with that person to meet everyone’s needs, involving the whole world in the effort. When basic needs are met - food, water, safety, shelter, medical care, education, hope and happiness - peace follows, Mattie said. He was in fact, working to encourage people to leave the best legacy they could possibly could, to recognize their purpose on earth and follow through by understanding that it connects with everyone else’s.”


It’s hard not to get emotional about this book or maybe it’s just me. But whatever it is, I found another hero in this book aside from Mattie. His mother, Jen Stepanek. To have that indomitable spirit, that resolute strength is quite an inspiration. Mattie’s journey wouldn’t be complete without her. She had been his rock, his confidante, his best friend. They cried and laughed together amid all his trials. And in every crisis she steadily stood by him. I pray that I can be half the mother she is.


Right now, she battles with the adult form of Mattie’s disease but she still continues to spread his message. I wish her continuous strength in mind, heart and body. And I thank her for giving us this book and letting us see how special Mattie really was and still is. Thank you, Jen and Mattie. May your message of peace and hope spread as wide and as clear as you hope it to be. (www.mattieonline.com)

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